Grief and the Holidays?Help Yourself and Others | Psychology Today

Dealing with Grief During the Holidays

There are other critical dates and times that affect grieving people, but the holiday season is the most universal stimulus to provoke memories and feelings about important people in our lives who have died or who are no longer present at our holiday celebrations and rituals because of divorce or other estrangements. Many people struggle with their feelings during the holidays, not knowing how to deal with their own emotions, much less those of others they love.

Here are ten tips, the first five of which relate primarily to the death of someone important to you. That person might have been a loved one or may have been what we call a ?less than loved one,? but you will probably still be affected by their absence. The second set of five tips relates either to the death of a spouse or to divorce. We are not comparing those experiences, but we are suggesting that the tips can be helpful in either situation.

The Death of Someone Important to You:

? Don?t Isolate Yourself. It?s normal and natural to feel lost and alone?but Don?t Isolate?even if you have to force yourself to be with people and participate in normal activities.

? Don?t misuse food or alcohol to cover up or push down your feelings. As children, when we were sad about something, we were often told, ?Don?t feel bad. Here have a cookie, you?ll feel better.? The cookie doesn?t make the child feel better, it makes the child feel different and the real cause of the sadness is not addressed. When we get older, alcohol and drugs are used for the same wrong reasons?to mask feelings of sadness.

? Talk about your feelings, but don?t expect a quick fix. It?s essential to have someone you trust to talk to about your memories and the feelings they evoke. Ask your friend to just listen to you and not try to fix you. You?re sad, not broken, you just need to be heard.

? While it?s important to talk about your feelings, don?t dwell on them. Telling the same sad story over and over is not helpful?in fact, it can establish and cement a relationship to your pain. Better to just make a simple statement of how you feel in the moment. For example, say, ?I just had a sad feeling of missing him.?

? Time doesn?t heal?actions do. The myth that time heals a broken heart is just that, a myth. Time can?t heal a broken heart any more than time can fix a flat tire. Time just goes by. It?s the actions you take within time that can help you feel better.

Death of a Spouse or Divorce:

? Just because you feel lonely doesn?t mean you?re ready to start dating. Don?t start dating while your heart is still broken or you will guarantee that the next relationship will fail. Being ready to date is a function of the actions you take within time to repair your heart. This is valid whether you?re dealing with a death or divorce.

? Don?t get too busy?avoid hyperactivity. Be careful not to get too busy. Being super active just distracts you, it doesn?t really help you deal with your broken heart.

? Maintain your normal routines. Adapting to the changes in your life following a death or a divorce is an enormous adjustment. You are learning how to move from being with someone to being alone. It?s never a good idea to add a host of other changes while you?re trying to adapt to so much disruption in your life.

? Go through the pain, not under, over, or around it. It?s very tempting to try to avoid the pain associated with a broken heart. But it?s also a very bad idea. Whenever you skirt the pain, all you?re doing is pushing it away temporarily. It will always come back to haunt you.

? Find effective guidance or you will sabotage your future. While the grief of a broken heart is the normal reaction to the death of your mate or to the end of a romantic relationship, it?s very helpful to find effective tools to help you discover and complete everything that was left emotionally unfinished. Otherwise, you will drag your emotional baggage into the next relationship and ruin it before it really starts.

?

Source: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/broken-hearts/201211/grief-and-the-holidays-help-yourself-and-others

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The Food Blogger ? Blog Archive ? Ten Tips For Cooking The ...

Thanksgiving weekend and it?s time to enjoy those mouth-watering Roasted Turkey,Greenbeans casserole (hubby cook the best casserole ever!) ,pumpkin pie,and other yummy food that only mom-knows-what!

Too bad for me because I?m on the other part of the planet right now? and stuck with lots of work and endless talks about exciting drumsticks at Musicians friend instead of Turkey drumstick, and I sure terribly miss my family back in the US.

Anyway, though it was always hubby who is in charge in preparing our Thanksgiving dinner but I have a few tips here to share that I found online. Take a look;

Image from http://www.foodnetwork.com/

?1. Choose the right type of turkey for you.
Heritage? Organic? Fresh? Frozen? There are lots of choices out there. A heritage turkey is right for you if you want to try an old-fashioned breed of turkey, often leggier and leaner and more flavorful, and don?t mind paying a little extra for it. If organics are important, you may already have your eye on a turkey raised according to organic standards, and fed organic feed. If you?d prefer a traditional fresh or frozen bird, pick the healthiest-looking one in the weight range you need, and make sure it looks well fed for its size. And, remember, fresh may not necessarily be better than frozen; frozen turkeys are snap-frozen just after butchering.

2. Figure on 1 to 1 1/2 pounds of turkey per person.
To buy the right size turkey for your party, simply tally up the turkey-eating guests. Add a few pounds on for bones and you?ve got your turkey weight. For example, 8 people will require a 12 to 14-pound turkey.

3. Cook the turkey on a rack of vegetables.
Create a natural roasting rack for your turkey by layering carrots, onions and celery on the bottom of the roasting pan. Lifting the turkey off the base of the pan helps to increase hot air circulation around the whole bird so that it will get crispy all over. And the vegetables add great flavor to the gravy.

4. Brining keeps it moist.
Brining is an easy, sure-fire way to a moist and flavorful turkey. A typical brining solution contains water, salt, sugar and a variety of spices and aromatics. Just be sure to follow a trusted recipe so you get the right proportion of each.

5. Keep the stuffing on the side.
Chances are the Thanksgivings of your childhood featured a stuffing cooked right in the cavity of the turkey. Go ahead and use your family recipe, but we suggest you cook the stuffing in a separate pan. Cooking the stuffing in the turkey can provide fertile ground for the growth of harmful bacteria. In addition, a stuffed turkey will take longer to cook, which could result in drier white meat. Instead, loosely fill the turkey with aromatics such as onions and herbs, and cook the stuffing separately.

6. To tie or not to tie.
To help ensure that poultry cooks evenly, many professional cooks like to truss their birds, which is just a fancy term for tying them up. While it?s not a necessary step in cooking a terrific turkey, it can be fun to show off your culinary skills at home. Simply tuck the wings of the turkey under the body and tie the legs together with kitchen string to create a tight package.

7. Rub the turkey with butter or oil.
Before putting it in the oven, make sure the skin of the turkey is as dry as possible, and then rub it all over with butter or oil. For even moister meat, place pats of butter under the skin.

8. Skip the basting.
Basting means more oven door opening, resulting in temperature fluctuations that can dry out your bird. Instead, keep your turkey moist by brining it or by rubbing it all over with butter or oil.

9. Invest in a good meat thermometer.
Check for doneness by inserting an instant-read thermometer in the thickest part of the turkey around the thigh, avoiding the bone. At 165 degrees F, it?s done. The turkey will continue to cook as it rests, so the temperature should rise another 10 degrees or so out of the oven.

10. Give it a rest.To lock in juices, tent your turkey with foil and let it rest for at least 15 to 20 minutes before carving. Be sure you don?t cover the turkey too tightly as you don?t want the bird to steam under the foil.(Source: Food Network)

There you have it! I hope you enjoy the dinner as much as you enjoy the cooking! Happy Thanksgiving,everyone!!!!

Tags: Thanksgiving Dinner, Turkey

Source: http://www.thefoodblogger.net/ten-tips-for-cooking-the-perfect-turkey/

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U.S. court orders Argentina to pay bond holders in "vultures" row

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Argentina suffered a stinging blow late on Wednesday, when a New York federal judge, citing threats by the country's leaders to defy his rulings in a decade-old dispute over defaulted sovereign bonds, ordered immediate payment.

In an ruling delivered just as the United States headed off for its Thursday Thanksgiving holiday, U.S. District Judge Thomas Griesa rejected Argentina's request to maintain his previous order halting payments to holdout investors who did not participate in two bond exchanges of defaulted sovereign debt.

The ruling is the latest development in a litigation saga that has lasted more than ten years and now appears to be favoring holdout bond investors such as Elliot Management Corp's NML Capital Ltd and Aurelius Capital Management.

If Griesa's ruling is upheld and Argentina chooses to defy him, U.S. courts could ultimately inhibit debt payments to creditors who accepted the terms of the restructuring, out of consideration for investors who rejected Argentina's terms at the time.

This would trigger a technical default on approximately $24 billion worth of debt issued in the 2005 and 2010 exchanges.

Last week, Argentina, which defaulted on its bonds in 2002, asked Griesa to keep his stay order in place while the U.S. 2nd Circuit Court of Appeals for New York considered the country's request for a revisitation of an unfavorable ruling in October.

Griesa wrote that he would ordinarily leave his order in place pending a ruling from the 2nd Circuit. However, he concluded this was not possible given comments from Argentine officials, including President Cristina Kirchner, that Argentina would not pay anything to the holdout bondholders.

"It is the view of the District Court that these threats of defiance cannot go unheeded, and that action is called for," Griesa wrote, saying the payments should be made as soon as possible.

The 2nd Circuit already upheld Griesa's February 23, 2012 decision that Argentina violated equal-treatment provisions for all creditors when it chose to pay exchange bondholders and not holdout bondholders.

Given that Griesa's latest decision still needs the final blessing of the 2nd Circuit, he ordered that rather than Argentina paying the plaintiffs directly, it should deposit the money in an escrow account by December 15.

Griesa was unconvinced by Francisco Eggers, Argentina's National Director of the National Bureau of Public Credit, who submitted a signed affidavit last week saying the government would abide by the court's rulings and would not seek to evade its directives.

QUESTIONS ANSWERED

Griesa's rulings on Wednesday answered the 2nd Circuit's lingering questions as to what holdouts should be paid and by what mechanism, as well as how the judge would treat third-party banks such as Bank of New York Mellon, which act as transfer agents for restructured bondholders.

Griesa's decisions go back immediately to the 2nd Circuit, which will decide if it agrees with his logic or not.

After the October decision, President Fernandez said her country would not pay "one dollar to the vulture funds." This is her term for holdout investors who buy distressed or defaulted debt and then sue in international courts for full payment.

In his ruling, Griesa said the less time Argentina was given "to devise means for evasion, the more assurance there is against such evasion."

"There is no question about what is 'currently due' to plaintiffs," Griesa wrote. "The amount that is currently due is the amount of the unpaid principal, the due date of which has been accelerated, and accrued interest."

NML and Aurelius, the holdouts with the largest claims on unrestructured debt, are owed approximately $1.33 billion.

"Argentina owes this and owes it now," Griesa said. "It should be emphasized that these are debts currently owed, not debts spaced out over future periods of time."

Griesa said NML and Aurelius should be paid concurrently or ahead of exchange bondholders.

Argentina is due to pay bondholders who participated in two debt restructurings in 2005 and 2010 approximately $3.14 billion in interest payments next month and not again until March 2013.

Griesa rejected arguments from exchange bondholders that full payment to NML and Aurelius would infringe on their rights.

"In accepting the exchange offers of thirty cents on the dollar, the exchange bondholders bargained for certainty and the avoidance of the burden and risk of litigating," he wrote.

"Moreover, it is hardly an injustice to have legal rulings which, at long last, mean that Argentina must pay the debts which it owes. After ten years of litigation this is a just result," the judge said.

Griesa's rulings were made available by plaintiffs attorneys, who sometimes receive them before they become available in the court's electronic filing system.

THIRD PARTIES

The 2nd Circuit has also directed Griesa to spell out precisely how his injunctions would apply to third-party banks.

Among the banks is BNY Mellon, which transfers funds from Argentina to the country's bondholders. It argues that the injunction would interfere with its duties to the exchange bondholders and could cause a wider disruption to the largely automated international bank payment systems.

Griesa said BNY Mellon's arguments "miss the point" and if Argentina followed the appeals court ruling there would be "no problem" about the money ending up in the right accounts.

He said that if Argentina attempted to make payments to the exchange bondholders in violation of the court's rulings, third party institutions should be "held responsible" for ensuring they are not taking steps to violate the law.

Carmine Boccuzzi, a lawyer for Argentina in New York, did not respond to a request for comment, while attempts to reach Argentina's Economy Ministry were unsuccessful given the late hour of the ruling.

Stephen Sigmund, a spokesman for Aurelius, declined comment as did Peter Truell, a spokesman for Elliott Management.

(Reporting by Andrew Longstreth, Nate Raymond, and Daniel Bases in New York; Helen Popper in Buenos Aires. Writing by Daniel Bases; Editing by Jacqueline Wong and David Brunnstrom)

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/u-court-orders-argentina-pay-bond-holders-vultures-080551454--finance.html

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My Top 4 Observations Among Top Earning ... - Travel Business U

By: Vanessa McGovern

In my time with GIFTE (less than a year), I have coached and hung around with many six figure earning Travel Professionals. In that time, I have noticed some specific common denominators among Travel Professionals who are making six figures selling travel and are actually ending this year having sold seven figures in sales.

It sounds too good to be true, right? It?s really not! So allow me share my observations:

#1: There are riches in niches.

There really is no way around this ? you have to specialize. The top earning Travel Professionals who have embraced this concept and built their business around their specialty are the ones that:

A. Make more money

B. Work less and travel more and/or spend more time with their friends and family

C. Are happier and feel personally fulfilled by their travel business

Do you want more of the above? Then specialize. This is at the core of what Meredith teaches and the foundation of your success. So why aren?t you doing it? I have several theories ? here are two:

I. When you entered this business you were told to take every certification program under the sun. So now you are an expert at everything, which to the consumer means you are an expert at nothing. Sorry to sound harsh ? but that is the truth. You can?t know it all. Let that go. But what you can do to be of the highest value to yourself and your clients is to be knowledgeable in one area of travel OR to one segment of the population. For example, baby boomers, the affluent, families, etc.

II. You are afraid to say no to business.

This is totally normal and completely understandable. BUT, it is what is keeping many of you reading this article ?stuck? in your business. Once you are crystal clear on your niche, then you can start to turn business down or refer that business to another travel professional who does handle that type of travel or an online booking engine that is better served to handle that bargain basement discount cruise (insert gasp here!). By letting go of business that is not serving you, you are making space for the clients and types of travel that you actually want to book.

#2 Top Travel Professionals work on themselves more than their business.

An average travel agent always complains about how little time they have. Sound familiar? Are you so overwhelmed that you don?t even know how you found time to read this article (but I am really glad you did)? Most Agents can?t fathom the idea of leaving their office for a personal development event or taking one hour a day to journal or exercise. According to the average Travel Agent, it is just not possible. Well, believe it or not, what I have witnessed with my own two eyes is that the Travel Professionals who are earning six figures are the ones who invest in themselves consistently and passionately. They read engaging books to keep a healthy mindset, they care about their health, they join masterminds, they hire a personal coach and more. They stay educated on their specialty when it comes to their business and do not get easily distracted by the latest and greatest supplier or destination board webinar. I hate to be the bearer of bad news here ? but having an excessive amount of travel certifications and attending multiple high-content webinars on supplier related topics is NOT a common denominator among top earning Travel Professionals.

#3 They are highly accountable.

I just love the attitude of top earning travel professionals. They are all wonderfully positive people who are highly passionate about their business and know that they and only THEY control their future. I was really struck by an Agent who told me last month that the election would determine the outcome of her business in 2013. Top earners don?t think like that ? they just don?t. No matter who is President or even what Host you are with ? your success it squarely up to you.

#4 Top earners market consistently.

And by consistently I don?t just mean 1 or 2 times, I mean more than 10 and above on a weekly and monthly basis using a variety of media. For example, doing a weekly ezine (just like the one you get from Meredith every single Tuesday) or consistently running an Ad in a magazine that is relevant to your target market. Too many travel agents give up too soon on their marketing campaigns and efforts. I get it ? it is easy to throw in the towel. But in order for your client attraction strategies to work you need to:

A. Be marketing the right message to the right audience and

B. Be consistently in front of the same people

Think about how often you get a magazine from a home good store. I get a Pottery Barn magazine monthly?.and do I buy something monthly, no! Maybe once a year?and sometimes not even that often. But I am a past Pottery Barn client and their target market so they will continue to provide me with information consistently so I don?t forget about them and start shopping at Restoration Hardware! Make sense? So the message here is don?t give up! Don?t get frustrated if your first ever direct mail campaign does not yield a result or the Ad in the local paper didn?t make your phone ring. Marketing takes time and I realize this is hard for those of us that like ?instant gratification.?

In closing, let me remind you that that it is likely that no one said running a travel business was going to be easy, right? But I promise you that if you stick to your passion (ie. niche), invest in yourself regularly, stay accountable for everything that happens in your business (and in your life!) as well as market consistently to attract your ideal clients ? then you will be making the right steps.

Your Assignment: Ask yourself ? and be honest with your answers ? are you doing all 4? If not, why not? Get clear on what you need to put in place and take action quickly to get the momentum going. If you are feeling stuck, then consider investing in the Make Money Selling Travel Blueprint. This program has helped many Travel Professionals get very clear on how to move their business forward. The program is on sale through November 30th. Go here to learn more: www.makemoneysellingtravel.com

Source: http://www.travelbusinessu.com/my-top-4-observations-among-top-earning-gifted-travel-professionals

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Oil rises in Asia as China manufacturing improves

BANGKOK (AP) ? The price of oil rose Thursday after preliminary data showed China's manufacturing activity expanded for the first time in 13 months, a positive sign for the global economy.

Benchmark crude for January delivery was up 13 cents to $87.51 per barrel at late afternoon Bangkok time in electronic trading on the New York Mercantile Exchange. The contract rose 63 cents to finish at $87.38 a barrel on Wednesday.

Oil prices were responding to the release of HSBC Corp.'s monthly Purchasing Managers' Index for November, which showed a reading of 50.4 on a 100-point scale on which numbers over 50 indicate expansion.

That was a moderate improvement from October's 49.5 and boosted hopes that the world's No. 2 economy was finally emerging from the deep slump it has been mired in since the 2008 financial crisis.

"I think that number encouraged the traders to bet on rising oil prices," said Ken Hasegawa, energy analyst at Newedge brokerage in Tokyo.

Brent crude, used to price international varieties of oil, fell 21 cents to $110.65 a barrel in London.

In other energy futures trading in New York:

? Heating oil rose 2.4 cents to $3.072 a gallon.

? Wholesale gasoline added 2.1 cents to $2.709 a gallon.

? Natural gas gained 6 cents to $3.892 per 1,000 cubic feet.

Source: http://news.yahoo.com/oil-rises-asia-china-manufacturing-improves-053315602--finance.html

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Video: Does the Rally Have Staying Power?

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Source: http://video.msnbc.msn.com/cnbc/49898730/

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5 Sure-Shot Ways To Get Traffic To A New Website?

Getting traffic to their new website is one of the main challenges for any business. A company?s website is the most important channel for promoting a business today. However, without s traffic, you are not likely to benefit from your website.

Some time back I had written an article on 55 ways to drive traffic to a website. In this article we will take a look at 5 simple yet effective techniques for driving traffic to a new website.

1. Comment on Blogs

Commenting on influential blogs in your niche as well as blogs of other competition businesses is a quick and easy way to obtain back-links and referral traffic. If you add value to the discussion, you will get noticed and users will click on your comment link to checkout your site. In addition to contributing to your authority and influence, this can turn into a steady stream of traffic to your new website.

Here are Some Tips:

• Try to be the first few commenters.
• Comment on a combination of new and popular posts
• Try to make it to the Top commentator widgets on blogs
• Write quality comments
• Use Technorati.com to identify influential blogs
• Take advantage of these blog commenting tips

2. Share Links On Main Social Bookmarking Sites

Social bookmarking is a great way to build back-links and traffic fast. They have the potential to drive huge traffic to your website. In addition to leading social networks such as Twitter and Facebook, focusing on social bookmarking sites like Stumble Upon can get tons of visits to your website within a short time.

Here are some tips:

• Use multiple sites
• Use a combination of general as well as niche social bookmarking sites

3. Video Marketing

Videos are very popular on the web. Video marketing offers the potential to get huge exposure and traffic for your new business. Best of all, you do not need specialist skills to create a good video these days. You can take advantage of free services like ScreenR to create branded videos quickly and share on several sites. You can also use screen capture tools like SnagIt to create presentation style videos.

Here are some tips:

• Include link and other branding elements in your videos
• Submit videos to several video sites including YouTube, Vimeo, Metacafe, and more.
• Consider re-using existing content to create presentation videos
• Use optimised video titles and descriptions and don?t forget to add link to description
• Vote, like and comment on other videos relevant to your niche
• Don?t forget to post videos to your social profiles

4. Press Release Distribution

Setting up an active blog and focusing on other content marketing methods can take time and effort and very effective in the medium to long term. In the short term however, I find press releases to be one of the most effective ways to promote a new business or website.

Unlike other content marketing methods like articles, eBooks, etc that can take time to promote, press releases are indexed very fast on search engines and can provide immediate benefits. Due to this, press release is one of the favourite methods to promote a new website among marketers.

Here are some tips:

• Distribute press releases every month to promote your new website or business
• Use several press release sites
• Make sure to include a back-link to your new website

5. Don?t Overlook SEO

SEO is far from dead. Only the methods have changed to in line with recent changes to Google?s ranking algorithm. Over the past couple of years, the focus has moved away from aggressive link-building, article marketing and other old SEO tactics towards content marketing and other inbound marketing methods.

SEO is an integral part of any successful website promotion strategy. As SEO takes time and effort to implement, it is best to focus on it from the start. It is still the best method to get traffic to your website.

Here are some SEO Tips:

• Use Google Keyword Tool to identify keywords
• Don?t try to cheat search engines with methods such as keyword stuffing
• Optimise each page on your new website independently
• Target one or two keywords only per page
• Focus on link bait techniques to generate one way back-links

The Best Way Forward

SEO and Internet marketing have changed significantly in recent years. The focus is increasingly on inbound marketing methods that focus on producing quality content regularly to attract visitors towards your website.

You can take advantage of the methods above to promote your new website but in the long run you will need to focus on implementing a good content marketing plan to promote your website. This is the only way to beat your competition and promote your website or your business in the long-term. E-Books, articles, blogging, reports, white-papers and infographics ? are all part of it.

What About You?

What methods do you use to promote your website? Are you taking advantage of? the methods above? We would like to hear from you. Please add your response by leaving a comment below.

If you like this article, please share it!

Source: http://www.kronikmedia.co.uk/blog/traffic-to-new-website/5999/

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